Anger
Session Overview
Anger management is perhaps the most important session in your entire training programme. It is important to keep your Irritation under control for your own benefit and the benefit of others around you. So what is anger? What makes us angry, and how must we manage our Irritation ? All this and more, in this session.
What is Anger ?
“How long should I wait on line for this simple information? You guys are useless and I am really sick of this lousy service of yours!”
“You fool, I wanted this report yesterday!”
“You response time is terrible! Are you a bunch of useless people sitting there?”
“Just do your work and don’t ask questions!”
You must have come across these statements. What comes to your mind when you think about these? Yes. You know that the person saying these are very angry.
It is perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged. The feeling is not exactly a problem-it’s what you do with it that makes a difference. Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or others.
Why Do We Get Angry ?
Anger is felt by everyone. We all get angry from time to time. Nowadays, you often read in the newspapers about how people get angry and lose their temper. At times anger can lead to serious consequences with people even losing their lives! You could get angry if your younger sibling takes your things without asking you or if the train or bus is late.
Your senior may get angry if you reach office late or do not do well at work. While taking calls, customers can be really difficult with you! But if you choose to respond to such situations in anger, you are likely to end up losing your job!
We get angry :-
- When we are scolded at or criticized by our customers or superiors
- When we do not get what we want
- When someone irritates us without any reason
- If things do not go according to our plan
When Does Anger Become a Danger ?
Let us see a scenario to understand when Irritation become a danger :-
Rakesh : a customer service representative (CSR), and a customer are in conversation:
Customer: “Hello my name is Bijoy. Can you explain why I was overcharged in my last bill? You are
cheating mel
CSR (Rakesh): “Sir, don’t shout. You are bound to pay the penalty if you make a late payment. It is your mistake.”
Customer: “Are you trying to blame me? I made the payment on time. If it doesn’t reflect in your system then it is your problem and not mine.”
Rakesh: “The system will never show any wrong information. You are mistaken. Don’t blame others for your mistake.”
Meanwhile, the Team Leader of the CSR is watching this conversation closely. This is what happens next.
Team Leader: “Rakesh are you out of your mind? Why are you fighting with the customer?” Rakesh: “He was abusing me and shouting loudly”
Team Leader: “Well, that’s part of your job to deal with irate customers! That does not mean you will shout back! Take this as a warning from me.”
Rakesh, the CSR, who was already in a bad mood, feels even worse now. Let’s see what happens during lunch…
One CSR: “Hey Rakesh you look upset.”
Rakesh: “You mind your business and don’t bother me.”
CSR: “What happened Rakesh? Is there something wrong?”
Rakesh: “Oh God! Don’t you understand? I said just leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
CSR: “As you wish but remember venting your anger on us will not help you. And my friend, please do not take the next call in that mood of yours! See you!”
Rakesh: “I don’t need your advice!”
Rakesh reaches home in the same angry mood. Rakesh’s mother speaks to him.
Mother: “Rakesh, tomorrow is the last day for paying the electricity bill. I have run out of money since the month is ending. Do you have the money to pay the bill?”
Rakesh: “Bills bills bills! There are only bills all the time in this house, waiting to be paid! Where will the money come from?”
Mother: “Rakesh, please calm down. If you don’t have the money, why get angry? I’ll take it from your father. Relax”
You should know that :-
Anger is a completely normal human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems-problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. Anger becomes a problem when it is too intense, occurs too frequently, lasts too long, impacts health or destroys interpersonal relationships. Anger does not solve any problem, but it certainly can create new problems.
Out-of-control anger hurts your
Physical health: You become easily tired and lose interest in any activity. You may also unintentionally hurt yourself or others.
Mental health: Anger makes you lose concentration while working and could make you think negatively It can also lead to stress and depression.
Career/Job: You might end up losing your job if you are unable to control your anger. You should always have a calm mind while dealing with others. While this is easier said than done, you must develop the strength in your mind to be able to do this.
Relationships: Anger makes it difficult for other people to talk with you or even approach you. It gets in your way in building relationships at work and at home.
Control your anger before it controls you, as ANGER is just one word away from DANGER. Take help from family members, friends or your supervisor if your anger seems out of control.
How to Manage Anger ?
The best method to manage anger is by talking to yourself. Here are some self statements that will help you manage your anger in different situations.
How do I deal with irate customer ? Say this to yourself :-
“Most calls I am likely to receive are from irate customers. It is my job to service irate customers. They are irate not because they are angry with ME. They are angry with the situation they are in. I too would be angry if I had to face the problem they are having to face!”
What to do when someone forces you to do something you don’t want to. Say this to yourself:–
“I can work out a plan to handle this.”
“This is a testing situation but I believe in myself and my ability to handle it.” can manage this situation; I know how to deal with my anger.”
How do I face this difficult situation? Say this to yourself:-
“I’m in control of the situation and can handle it”
“Let me stay calm and continue to relax”
How do I handle this situation? Say this to yourself:
“Getting upset won’t help.”
“I can’t always expect people to act the way I want them to.”
“There is no point in wasting energy by arguing-I may just have to apologize to him/her.”
When the problem is solved? Say this to yourself:-
“I handled the situation really well – it worked.”
“I didn’t lose my temper or get angry.”
“I’m getting better at managing my anger.”
When the problem is not solved? Say this to yourself:
“I need to work on how to manage my anger.”
“I must remember not to take things personally.”
Some other ways to deal with anger:-
Move yourself away from the situation.
Divert yourself in other activities like exercise, reading, listening to music.
Take a deep breath.
Count from 1 to 10 slowly.
Tips :-
- Use humour to reduce anger.
- Exercise, yoga and meditation also help in anger management.
- Think before you speak.
Also Read :- Attitude
